I spent two months in New York as an experiment, and ended up signing a lease instead
In September of last year, I was living in New York for a couple of weeks to help with a company product launch. When I arrived, it felt like New York and all major cities were beginning to ‘soft launch’ its new post-pandemic era.
The city was starting to get full, businesses were re-opening, and people were starting to joyfully gather in groups again. Collectively, the world describes this super special magical feeling of New York. I never really understood how one city could be that special and magical. It wasn’t until that visit I started to feel it. Whatever ‘it’ was.
My first encounter with New York
My curiosity of New York begins with watching YouTuber and film maker, Casey Neistat, riding his boosted board throughout the city and documenting his daily life as a New Yorker with his slightly dented Canon camera in the comfort of my childhood bedroom.
The thing is, Casey and I couldn’t be more different.
At the time, he was a middle-aged white man who was known for dropping out of school, packing his bags to New York at an early age, living in a small studio where he made films with his brother, and telling stories on the internet in ways that seemed extremely relatable.
And at the time, I was an 18-year-old Asian-American girl living in the suburbs of Seattle, about to begin college, never had a single scratch on my phone or camera, and between you and I — had no idea what I wanted to do in my life besides knowing one thing, I wanted to make my immigrant family proud by seeking stability.
There was something about Casey that grabbed my attention. It might’ve been his ability to tell stories with ripped up cardboard boxes and permanent markers. The way he made me question things through his work like ‘do what you can’t’. Or simply allowing us to see through his lens how much New York can be a catalyst to live out dreams we thought were impossible to reach.
If he could be doing what he loves by deciding every single day to do more, I knew it was possible to do the same.
Deciding to move to New York
It’s like picking off flower petals on how we made the decision. Should we move to New York? or should we not? Should we move to New York?
When I came back home from my work trip in September, I started a group chat with any friend that mentioned their curiosity about living in New York. There was something comforting knowing we weren’t alone with our flowers.
Through this chat, friends of friends were also added, and it narrowed to a group of six of us that were willing to land on that last petal of ‘we should’ for two or three months. We wanted a taste of what it was like and see if we could commit for a longer period after.
A few common observations I made with us six:
- Many lived at home for a bit: The past two years living in a pandemic allowed many of us to return home and live with our family. As someone who lived at home, even throughout my college days and first two years working in industry, I had the opportunity to save more and not be tied to a temporary lease. The comfort of living at home felt safe and practical at that time, but deep down I wasn’t growing personally as an independent young adult.
- Been working for at least one to two years: Most of our group are either first generation or from a family of immigrants. This means we witnessed our family take the risk to pack their bags, move to a new country, and build a new life without much. All of us have been working in industry for one to two years and have tried our best to live out this so-called thing the ‘American Dream’ with stable income coming in.
- Conducted research and consulted others: We spent a ton of time communicating in our chat and building out a collaborative spreadsheet what our budget cap was, location preferences, laundry in unit or not, where the nearest subway stations were to our office buildings, and overall, what our roommate preferences were. Many of us, including myself, communicated with our managers ahead of time about our plans to move and ensured work times were aligned.
One by one, the screenshots of our flight confirmations came in our group chat. Then the Venmo requests for our two-month Airbnb rent were sent. We were locked in. We were bloody doing it; we’re moving to New York.
The truth of New York, New York
When people ask me how New York has been, I start off saying how much I hate it, then love it again, then hate it, then love it again.
Talking to friends who were born and raised in New York, they shared their deep love for it but grew to understand that this city is like living in some sort of simulation. Many of us are given a set of constraints or absolutes to then make decisions within.
To dive deeper and sound a bit less cryptic, let me explain.
Many rely on public transportation to get around which means planning around sudden train delays or unexpected breakdowns. We’ve seen an increasingly high rate of hate crimes take place against the BIPOC community, and more specifically the AAPI community where the NYPD reported that hate crimes motivated by anti-Asian sentiment jumped 1,900% in New York — leaving many fearful to wander alone and tightly clutching pepper spray in their pockets worried for their safety. Since the pandemic, rent has been at an all-time high with the New York Times reporting the median asking rent has increased 12%-13%, leaving many battling with inflated rent prices and seeing an increasing number of neighborhoods becoming gentrified. In addition, the overall cost of living is becoming astronomical where food prices are 9.1% higher than a year earlier in New York and 10.4% higher nationwide.
The number of constraints can very much differ in size depending on socioeconomic and ethnic background. Which then contributes to the differing experiences with the city. It’s important we talk about this and recognize it because it’s the core of what makes New York, well, New York.
My iPhone notes
Over the course of my two months in the city, I started to document how New York was making me feel in my phone’s notes app. For me personally, New York has been a time where I felt the most inspired, tired, excited, and afraid.
Here’s what I jotted down.
Inspired
It’s the feeling I had my first week in the city, making my way to my new office building and realizing I didn’t need to use Google maps to get there. I could just look up, see the tiny silhouette of the Empire State Building, and make my way towards it.
I developed this internal conflict with being slightly annoyed with tourists and at the same time growing fond of them. Every morning, as I got closer to my building there would be long lines of tourists waiting to tour the top of the Empire State Building. Often, I would squeeze my way through the line and experience a couple of shoves in the process before reaching the office entrance. In moments like that I felt annoyed at how busy the area was but reminded through the kids smiling in line — that not long ago me and my family were tourists doing the same. That younger Leah was in that very line, excited to see an iconic view of New York and could only hope that one day she wouldn’t be just a visitor.
Tired
I was tired of walking alone at night and tired of seeing a staggering number of people that needed help at the same time — Not knowing how best to help.
Our Airbnb was located in between Hell’s Kitchen and Hudson Yards. The building was built in the 1960s and was the only older building left standing next to new high rises. When entering the building, I noticed how heavy the door was, and how loudly it would shut behind us. Later, I realized that the door did this so no one could follow us in the building or easily break in.
One night, I walked home from work and noticed a couple of people lingering by our front door. I clutched my keys in my pocket, put my head down, and avoided eye contact.
As I got closer, I saw it was a family of three collecting our recycling and I immediately became less tense. At first, I was deeply concerned why they would be looking through our recycling and dropping empty bottles in garbage bags. It took me a minute, but I remembered visiting my grandparents’ home every summer in elementary school and we would take our recycling to these machines to get a few dollars for dropping it off there. I wasn’t sure if this family would end up doing the same but knew they were doing whatever they could do to make ends meet. I made sure that night to shut my building door gently behind me, not wanting to startle them.
Excited
So, yeah, I think I might’ve lost my mind during April and May. I was saying “yes” to every work happy hour, friend hang, tech meet-up, and exploration opportunity. I met hundreds of new people, from all backgrounds because of it. But it’s true, there is too much to do in the city. This causes an endless cycle of being extremely busy and at the same time feeling like you’re not doing enough.
My ability to time manage, budget, and prioritize was put to the test. It was a bit of a trial and error, learning what takes up most of my head space or drains me versus what makes me feel happy or re-energized.
I was in Union Square with a friend, and he proposed we Citi Bike to Domino Park. For those that don’t know, it’s around a 25-minute bike ride which is approximately four miles. It was my first-time biking in the bustling city, in between traffic, and crossing the bridge with the train zooming past me that I became overwhelmed with emotion. There was something about that bike ride that made me realize how small New York really is, and yet there was so much more to explore because I hadn’t seen it all. There are new memories waiting to be created with new humans I would’ve never crossed paths with if I hadn’t given New York a chance.
Afraid
My last day at Microsoft was the same day I flew to New York. Three days later, I started a new job at LinkedIn. Two weeks living in New York, my roommate encouraged me to join him on apartment tours to see what the housing market was like and one month later we signed a year lease in Brooklyn.
After signing the lease, I realized how afraid I was. It hit me when I was at IKEA, buying furniture for my new place. One moment I’m browsing the bedding section and then the next moment I’m breaking down, crying hugging a duvet.
I cried because I felt anxious. Afraid. Worried. Stressed.
The last time I was in IKEA, I was in Seattle buying new bed sheets with my family and previous partner who gave me their opinions on which color bed sheets I should buy. They always had a lot of opinions on what would be best for me, and often I would trust what they had to say more than I trusted myself.
This time in Brooklyn’s IKEA, I knew it was all up to me. Not just the decision to choose a new set of bed sheets, but the upcoming decisions I’m needing to make for myself here in New York. Deep down, I didn’t know if signing this lease was the right decision. At least with bed sheets, you have the option to return them.
My growing pains playlist I made immediately after:
My conclusion on New York
I came back home to the greater Seattle area this summer. I promised myself I’ll come back home before signing the lease and found a friend to sublease my Brooklyn room while I’m gone.
I made this promise so I can spend quality time with family, friends, and previous co-workers. (Side bar: I’ll talk more about this in next week’s newsletter and why this was so important for me to do.)
When I was back, my sister played a video that Casey Neistat’s brother, Van Neistat, filmed. He lived in New York for 20 years and shares the struggle of living in the city.
Van talks about New York being a wonderful place to move to if you have a mission. He encourages every American to live in New York for one year if they can, but highlights the expectations vs. reality of living in the city.
After watching Van’s video, I was catching up with a friend who was one of the original six friends in our New York group chat. She also signed a one-year lease in Brooklyn and was back in Seattle visiting her family for a brief period.
I asked her what her conclusion on New York was. She said to me, “Isn’t it too soon for us to have a conclusion on New York? It’s only our beginning.”
Our New York story has just begun and it’s perfectly okay for us not to know how it will end. My mission as I return to New York soon is to embrace it as a place of chaotic good and do my best to live out dreams that I thought were impossible.
Just like I quoted in my high school senior yearbook.
This article is dedicated to: Andrea, Ian, Stefanie, Hanna, Jaynee, and Aleenah for making New York feel like home and very possible to do.
P.S. I have a new newsletter called ‘The Noodler’. Subscribe for weekly essays like this to be sent straight to your inbox
