This was originally posted in September 2017 on LinkedIn
According to the Myers Briggs test I am 87% extroverted. I have no problem introducing myself to strangers, sharing my 30 second elevator speech, and forming relationships with others quickly. Taking that concept one step further, I find myself wanting to speak in front of large crowds, looking for situations that push myself out of my comfort zone, and absolutely love being transparent with others on who I am.
For those reasons, I have always told people that I am an open book. If you want to get to know me, all you must do is start flipping the pages.
However, after participating in the Stanford MBA Future Leaders Program this past August, the concept of me being an open book was definitely challenged.
What is the Stanford MBA Future Leaders Program? The Stanford MBA Future Leaders Program is a three-day residential event hosted by Stanford Graduate School of Business and corporate sponsors in the San Francisco Bay Area that introduces college students from diverse backgrounds to an MBA education and post-MBA career opportunities.
I was alongside 70+ rising undergrad juniors across the nation, living on campus, participating in classroom based discussions, engaged in various innovation and leadership activities, and gained exposure to Stanford GSB and the Bay Area communities.
As I reflect on my time spent during this program, there were many points of realization. Being surrounded by students who own their own companies and intern at fortune 500 companies proved that hard work pays off. The opportunity to be surrounded by the next Einstein’s and Da Vinci’s of our time was absolutely moving — so much so that my roommate and I ended up hashing out ideas for a startup until 2 am, convinced that we can indeed change the world. Lastly, we were told by incredible leaders and staff that “we belong here.” This was our time to confidently embrace who we are and who we hope to become as leaders.
We were confronted to face our leadership philosophy, areas of weakness, and truly discover what types of facades we present to the outer world. Through this process, I learned quickly that I am very much a closed book. A closed book, wrapped with duct tape, locked with the key thrown in the ocean, and engraved in bold with the words, “do not open or else.”
Others would say to me,
I love how you listen and include everyone in a conversation. It’s like without saying anything you say, “you matter.”
Yet, I had difficulty embracing that I matter as well. I realized that my voice was lost in translation. When it came to who I am, I have difficulty on being vulnerable.
The concept of being vulnerable is not just showing the parts of you that feel safe. But the parts that make you feel bloody dangerous. Like the little kid you who would dance like a dork when the music hits not caring what others thought about your moves. The teen you who would speed in Mario Kart not giving a care in the world on what you hit racing down the road. And now, the adult you being okay with all of you… the good, bad, and ugly.
At the end of the program, I made it my leadership philosophy and personal goal to reveal my authentic self with others. While, there is a great possibility that I may be labeled, misunderstood, and rejected on being my wholesome self. I find that the true connections created and love I learn to have for myself is truly worth revealing the parts of me that make me beautifully complex.
Moving forward, I hope to crack open the book that I now call my true self, not only by taking purposeful action but taking the time to write and share with others my experiences, thoughts, and most dangerous sides on who I am.
I understand firsthand that being vulnerable is not easy, but here I am revealing the very first pages of everything I hope to become.
